Have you ever wished you could just go to the super market and buy something completely ethereal? I know I have... When the boys were small, I used to wish (and sometimes still do actually) that I could just go and buy 48 hours sleep. Or maybe a second pair of hands...
I think we can probably all list a number of impossible purchases that would make our lives better / easier / less stressful. Personally, at the moment, I would really like a portion of boldness, with a side order of self-confidence.
I'm doing a few things that go against my naturally reserved state at the moment, but the thing I really want to feel confident about is playing my guitar and singing at the same time. This is not easy; I'm profoundly impressed by anyone who does it well, as it takes an awful lot of my brain power. I'm playing and singing more at the church I go to; and so far, I think it's gone really well actually. I would just love to be able to do it without feeling nervous and self conscious - after all - these people know me and love me, so how bad can it it actually be?
One of my favourite verses in the Bible is Joshua 1:9. It says:
"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go."(New International Version)
This is pretty clear really. I don't need to worry, because God is always there with me; whether I'm playing the guitar in public or actually doing something properly scary. Now I know not everyone believes in God, or that what the Bible says is true. I do though - and I'm just wondering how amazing life would be if we could actually manage to live out our lives according to some of these awesome promises.
John Ortberg has written a fabulous book (actually - he's written many - check out http://johnortberg.com/?page_id=2) called 'If you want to walk on water, you've got to get out of the boat'. It looks at the famous incident in the Bible where Jesus walks on water, and Peter tries to walk to him (see Matthew 14). The book explores how although this looks like a big failure for Peter, he was actually the only one brave enough to have a go; and how much he learned from this experience. Then it goes on to look at how we only develop as people if we step out of our comfort zones and try something new.
So although it would be easier to just buy some boldness from a shop - I know I'll learn more from the process of doing the challenging thing. I think the only true way to gain confidence is by facing up to the scary thing and doing it anyway. So I guess it's time to just 'woman up' and get on with it...
I don't think some things get less scary - I think you just get used to facing your fear, and you learn that it's usually ok when you do it. I always think I love public speaking and then every time I do it (surprisingly, not so often while on maternity leave...) I remember just how frightened I feel.
ReplyDeleteI'd like to be more confident with people I don't know, particularly at parties and social situations - I find it very hard to talk to people I don't know, even to think of things to say. I suspect it comes across as rudeness sometimes as I do appear quite confident. Secretly I'm not at all confident and am quite shy but I try to hide it - I wonder if most other people are doing this too.
I love the idea of buying boldness! If only such things didn't have to be developed like muscles (there's something else I'd prefer to buy!
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