Let's look at the map

Last week, as it was half term, it seemed like a good idea to let Joel (and thus, all of us...) have a go at orienteering...

Paul (aka Daddy), really enjoyed orienteering at school, and at university - as it combines two of his great loves; running and maps.  Recently, Paul has done a few orienteering events with a local club - The Octavian Droobers - and having talked to Joel about it, he was really keen to have a go.

So, on Wednesday afternoon, we packed a picnic, put on our sporty clothes(!), and set off for some woods near Harbury.

I have to confess to being slightly dubious.  After all, I am really not built for running; I'm pretty terrible at it.  I'm also prone to turning the map round when navigating, much to the amusement of my husband...  Also, the event started at 6pm - which is always tea-time in our house...  I wondered if the changes to the usual routine and general exhaustion might be a recipe for disaster.  Not to mention wondering what would happen if the smallest boy just decided he couldn't go any further... 

We got there early, and thanks to some spectacular organisation (by the organisers...) we were actually able to start at 5:30pm...  Marvellous.

They gave us a map (see below...), and an electronic gizmo, and then we had to start at the triangle, and navigate ourselves round the course - using our clever gizmo to show we'd found all the control points.  (NB - for the uninitiated - these are red and white flags, with numbers to search for...  A genius plan if you're trying to get children like mine to find anything: 'Come on, who can find number 118??'  Very clever...)

My cunning plan was to all stay together, but let Paul and Joel run ahead a bit - which allowed Nathan and me the chance to catch up whilst they were navigating where we were going next.  Amazingly, this pretty much worked...  Although it required running - it was short sharp bursts of running, whilst encouraging Nathan along - the best sort of running.  Nathan did also require the occasional piggy back - whilst also had the additional feature of slowing Paul down.  Very useful.

We made it round in the respectable time of 30:36, which wasn't bad considering three out the four of us had never done anything like this before...  We were also pretty chuffed when we discovered our Result! (click on the link and find us if you can...)

We all felt we'd very much earned our picnic afterwards; although (naturally) Paul didn't eat anything until he'd gone out and completed a much longer and more difficult course...

So - all in all, we had a good time together out in the sunshine, with exercise, and maps, and a crash course in how to use a compass, and a picnic tea.  Can't be bad.  Worth trying if you fancy doing some running, but don't want to be bored...

Happiness is - a cup of tea in bed...

Yesterday, on the wettest and most horrible day of the school run so far this year, I was blessed in many ways...

My husband happened to have taken the day off, having worked on Saturday this weekend just gone.  Joel was very happy that Daddy was going to be around, and (unprompted by me I hasten to add!) asked Paul to take him to school.

Paul - being as he is a nice Daddy, and also because I had got up early with the boys on Sunday - agreed to take the boys to school.  So the next morning, with the wind howling and the rain pelting down, my three boys set out from the house, whilst I remained curled up in bed.  Heaven.

Life got even better when Paul got home, when he (again unprompted by me - wonders will never cease!) brought me up a cup of tea.  I think tea making might be one of my love languages...

Paul ended up doing all the school and nursery runs yesterday, and I even managed to have a singing lesson without taking Nathan with me.  Paul even did a food shop...  It was nice that Paul had a day off, and effectively I had one too - although I still cooked everybody dinner.

I think, although the school runs went well (unlike this morning, but that's another story...) Paul now has renewed appreciation for what I do each day.  I am very grateful.  Well done super-dad!

A tale of two instruments

At the end of the last half term, Joel had to make a musical instrument.  This was homework; the instrument could be anything - but it needed to be ready for the last day of the half term, when they'd use them all for making a piece of music.  This Magnum opus was to sound like a rain storm...

We started work in plenty of time.  Joel had decided that he wanted to make a guitar.  I had found a tissue box, and the ubiquitous elastic bands.  It was all going so well...

There was nothing in the brief about making the instrument look beautiful.  But with the time available, I decided (yes reader, I brought this entirely on myself, Joel was not bothered either way) that decorating the tissue box would be a good idea.  We set to it, cutting and sticking an array of different coloured paper all over the box.  It was beautiful.  However, it had already set us on the road to disaster...

I'm quite practical - or so I like to think - especially 'for a girl'...  However, I had not foreseen the effect that the gluing would have of the structural integrity of the tissue box.  Once the box was dry, it had warped beyond all recognition.  Joel was not amused.  It looked (and more to the point, sounded) pretty rubbish - which to all intents and purposes is exactly what it was.  Our failure was only compounded by seeing one of Joel's friend's attempts at a guitar; complete with correctly shaped body, neck, frets - the whole caboodle.

There was nothing to be done; we had to make something else.

I found the mouth piece from a party blower, a cardboard tube and a plastic pot; and left Joel and his Daddy to assemble a 'clarinet'.  I was already feeling chastened by my previous attempt, and to be honest I knew that with minimal time to spare (the rain storm concert was the next day), the instrument was more likely to be structurally sound if built by the engineer in the family...  I restricted myself to cutting the desired lengths of sticky tape.

And thus Joel went to school the next morning with an instrument that he loved.  Not because it was pretty, but because it actually worked.  He later told me that there had been endless shakers, guitars, drums etc. but his had been the only wind instrument in the building...  At least I can claim to have been the brains behind the operation, and the best sticky tape dispenser in Warwickshire!

Just keep swimming...

September is my husband Paul's busiest time at work.  He works at a university - and so the start of the academic year is insanely busy for multiple reasons.  It takes a lot of his time, and even more of his mental and emotional energy, so we're not seeing very much of him at the moment - and the bits we are seeing are the tired and slightly grumpy bits!

The same thing happens every year - so it's not like it's taken me by surprise.  However, every September, I gain a renewed admiration for anyone parenting alone for any reason.  How anyone manages to be a single parent, and still be able to formulate coherent sentences is beyond me - I take my hat off to you.

I'm trying to pace myself with all the jobs that need doing.  Gaining wisdom from the fountain of life that is 'Finding Nemo'.  When life is tough - I think we sometimes need reminding that all we have to do is just keep going.  Just keep swimming...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CmyUkm2qlhA

It gives me hope that Jesus understood this feeling of general exhaustion.  In Matthew 11:28 it says:
"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest."  That's a promise I need to remember today.

We don't have to battle on alone.  God never promised that life would be easy, but He did promise to be with us every step of the way.

The List

One of the great things I've been able to do now I'm not working, is help out with a small discipleship group at our church.  This cell group has some very beautiful 16 to 18 year old girls, and it's been a joy getting to know them, and walking with them through some of the joys and trials of being a teenager.  It's also put some things from my own teenage years into a new perspective.

We talk about all sorts of things: life, learning, God the universe and everything really.  We also spend a fair amount of time talking about relationships.

One story I've told them recently, is about something that happened to me just over ten years ago...

It was the summer after my first year of university, and I was spending the day with Cath, one of my old school friends. Cath wouldn't mind me telling you that she'd had a very bad track record with men;  habitually attracted to the bad boy who would behave badly and treat her even worse.  It pained me to see her hurt - again.

I concocted a plan.  I got her to write 'The List'.

This list was to have all the characteristics she wanted in her next boyfriend on it.  The main part of it was full of non-negotiables, the things that weren't up for discussion.  Then at the end, she added a few preferences... 

She felt a bit daft writing it, so I (happily single at the time) decided to write a list too.  I made it comically specific:

1. Male
2. Christian
3. Aged 20-25
4. Caring
5. Secure in himself
6. A bit taller than me - maybe 5 foot 10
7. Brown, curly hair
8. Brown eyes

The funny bit, and the bit my youth cell like, is that I met Paul (super husband) the very next day.  Paul, who happened to fill all the criteria...  Every single one. 

Now I know there's nothing magic about writing a list like this - of course not.  And I know that sometimes the people we marry aren't always 'our type'.  I would have still married Paul if he'd had different colour hair (!)...  I still think it's a good idea to think about what you really want in your partner, and then stick to it; it might help in relationship disaster prevention!

Cath, my lovely school friend, now has a lovely list-fulfilling husband of her own, and a beautiful new baby too.  It's amazing what can happen in ten years, isn't it?

So here's the thing...

I've been married - mostly happily - for nine years now.  I know, I was a child bride...

The thing is, I married an engineer.  A nice, clever, exceedingly reliable engineer type chap.  Nothing shocking there, I know.  We pootled along quite nicely in the early stages, he even bought me 21 red roses for my 21st birthday; I know - romance truly displayed by engineer-brained man! 

Everyone knows though, that relationships don't stay the same.  We've been together over a decade now; got married, had two children, bought a family house, changed jobs etc etc.  Now, life is different, and romance isn't top of either of our agendas.  However - and herein lies the rub - it's much nearer the top of my agenda than it is on his.  So - what to do next...  Is there a way to keep us both happy?

There's a well known book called 'The Five Love Languages' by Gary Chapman. See  http://www.5lovelanguages.com/
It looks at how different people feel loved, by looking at what speaks to them:

1. affirming words
2. physical touch
3. thoughtful gifts
4. quality time
5. acts of service

These are the ways (or languages) you might experience love.  You can answer a quick quiz on this website - and it will tell you which love language you speak most strongly.  I've done this, and actually (unsurprisingly to me) it came out with affirming words.  The thing is - I actually speak them all.  And ironically, Paul doesn't really speak any, except possibly acts of service.  So what to do?

A wise man once told me that in order to remain 'in love' with your spouse, you have to keep doing the things you did when you were first together.  Feelings are fickle beasts, and will follow on if we perservere with loving our partner.  So - what did we do??  Well, one thing I know Paul really likes is going for long walks in the countryside - preferably with several maps etc...  So last week when his parents had the boys for us, that's what we did.  Quality time - check, affirming words - check, acts of service - check (if you count him helping me over a wobbly stile!)

So I'd like to know (with family friendly content - you know what I mean...)  what things your other half has done for you that have helped you feel loved?  How do you keep the romance in your relationship?  It's over to you...