I've just got back from a weekend break with my family in Centerparcs. Overall, we had a lovely time: we even had a chance to play in the snow, although we've come back pretty tired actually - what with all the swimming, walking, fresh air etc.
There were six of us in our merry band of adventurers: Me, Paul, Joel, Nathan, and Paul's parent's (aka Chris and Jenifer / Mum and Dad / Grandma and Grandpa - it's a wonder that they ever know their own names actually, given that they have so many options...)
It's nice going away on holiday with extra adults; especially if those adults are fond of your children. We've been away previously (yes, Centerparcs again - I know, very cliched) with Becca, my friend from school who is also Nathan's Godmother, and with my parents too. It is good having some other people to play with the children; and to spend some adult time with too. If you play your cards right - you can even end up with some free babysitting. Marvellous.
There is something a bit stressful about mixing up the generations though; it seems to muddle up the roles some how. When I'm with my children, I know what my job is. I am Mummy; source of food, cuddles, medicine (only when clinically indicated obviously...), stories etc. etc. When I am with my in-laws, I am daughter-in-law; who will listen to stories regaled at great length, laugh (OK, not cringe too much) at pun related jokes, and generally try to formulate coherent sentences.
These roles are sometimes hard to complete at the same time; for example - trying to listen to a story about an incident from a recent holiday, whilst smallest boy announces in a loud voice that he needs a wee.
Thinking about how to juggle the roles I have was one of the main motivations behind starting blogging in the first place. It's why I'm called 'MummyLadyMe'. I'm know I'm not the first woman to feel this way. I've just realised that in this post I haven't even really mentioned trying to fulfill my 'lady' role (although Paul and I did make use of some free babysitting this weekend - Hoorah!), or just trying to be me. Crumbs. There's so much to do!
I guess all you can do is prioritise the role that seems most important at the time, and trust that everyone involved loves you enough to forgive you if they don't always rank at number one on the priority list. I am so thankful to have relatives who I know feel that way about me.
Monday 29 November 2010
Tuesday 23 November 2010
How do you solve a problem like Strictly X Factor Idol? Get me out of here...
I guess it won't be a surprise to any of you, that our family choose Strictly Come Dancing as our reality (really? I guess it's not like any reality I've ever seen...) TV show of choice. We even - thanks to my parents - have some special Strictly scoring cards that get waved aloft each week. The boys like scoring everything at the moment actually. I get marks out of ten for the dinners I cook, and for my guitar playing and singing at church on Sunday; one week recently Joel gave me 9.3... I know, the .3 made all the difference!
Joel is struggling to decide who his favourite Strictly couple are, as there is often someone different at the top of the leader board, and he wants his favourite to be the best all the time. He has decided that once someone gets the magic 40 points - they'll be his favourite for ever... I know; the pressure's on for the couples now - who wouldn't give anything for that lofty achievement??
Personally, I've also been sneakily watching a bit of X factor once the kids are in bed. I know, I know - it's really quite bad - but it's good telly for ironing to... Especially when the brain is too tired for anything less vacuous (that's my excuse and I'm sticking to it...). I, like a lot of people, can't really comprehend the attraction of Wagner. I can't believe anyone would actually spend even a few pence to vote for someone who is obviously such a terrible singer. Each week, I hope that common sense will prevail, and each week I am disappointed; however, the same is happening on Strictly too with Anne Widdecombe and Anton... That said - I think Anton deserves all the votes they get for sheer perseverance, and for dogged cheerfulness.
I have less sympathy for X factor, who should have understood the public's desire to get one over Simon Cowell after last year's Jedward fiasco... Wagner might win - just because of how much the public want to feel in charge. And actually, if Simon and his cronies had really cared about it being a true talent contest, Wagner would never have made it past the first audition. Mr Cowell, you only have yourself to blame.
Oh well, at least I haven't succumbed to watching the jungle yet...
Joel is struggling to decide who his favourite Strictly couple are, as there is often someone different at the top of the leader board, and he wants his favourite to be the best all the time. He has decided that once someone gets the magic 40 points - they'll be his favourite for ever... I know; the pressure's on for the couples now - who wouldn't give anything for that lofty achievement??
Personally, I've also been sneakily watching a bit of X factor once the kids are in bed. I know, I know - it's really quite bad - but it's good telly for ironing to... Especially when the brain is too tired for anything less vacuous (that's my excuse and I'm sticking to it...). I, like a lot of people, can't really comprehend the attraction of Wagner. I can't believe anyone would actually spend even a few pence to vote for someone who is obviously such a terrible singer. Each week, I hope that common sense will prevail, and each week I am disappointed; however, the same is happening on Strictly too with Anne Widdecombe and Anton... That said - I think Anton deserves all the votes they get for sheer perseverance, and for dogged cheerfulness.
I have less sympathy for X factor, who should have understood the public's desire to get one over Simon Cowell after last year's Jedward fiasco... Wagner might win - just because of how much the public want to feel in charge. And actually, if Simon and his cronies had really cared about it being a true talent contest, Wagner would never have made it past the first audition. Mr Cowell, you only have yourself to blame.
Oh well, at least I haven't succumbed to watching the jungle yet...
Friday 19 November 2010
Shepherd no. 1
Christmas play season approaches...
In Joel's class they've been learning songs for their Christmas play since they went back to school after half term, so it's not surprising that a small slip of paper came home with Joel this week.
On this small piece of paper were the four short lines that Joel (aka Shepherd no. 1) has to learn for the play. This shouldn't be a problem for the boy who could tell you how long any given person from pretty much any series of Total Wipeout took to complete the Qualifier (Knock out Chris? Well, that would be 1 minute 10...) Memory is one of Joel's strong suits.
The only slightly disconcerting element was found in the final sentence, asking me to provide a costume for the Shepherd, which needs to be in school by the end of the month.
How do you dress a Shepherd?? Last year I think I had it very easy actually, as Joel was a narrator - and just had to wear uniform. I know the classic nativity shepherd attire would be a dressing gown, probably with tea-towel head gear; but Joel doesn't even have a dressing gown (I know - such neglect... Well actually, he's always boiling - so he'd never wear one anyway.) I'm not sure he's going to go for the whole tea-towel thing either. Joel's never really liked dressing up anyway...
So - any ideas? Particularly ideas that don't involve sewing prowess.
All I need now is for Nathan's nursery play to also need a costume of even greater difficulty - like being the donkey! There is no job in the world that requires as complex a skill mix as Motherhood.
In Joel's class they've been learning songs for their Christmas play since they went back to school after half term, so it's not surprising that a small slip of paper came home with Joel this week.
On this small piece of paper were the four short lines that Joel (aka Shepherd no. 1) has to learn for the play. This shouldn't be a problem for the boy who could tell you how long any given person from pretty much any series of Total Wipeout took to complete the Qualifier (Knock out Chris? Well, that would be 1 minute 10...) Memory is one of Joel's strong suits.
The only slightly disconcerting element was found in the final sentence, asking me to provide a costume for the Shepherd, which needs to be in school by the end of the month.
How do you dress a Shepherd?? Last year I think I had it very easy actually, as Joel was a narrator - and just had to wear uniform. I know the classic nativity shepherd attire would be a dressing gown, probably with tea-towel head gear; but Joel doesn't even have a dressing gown (I know - such neglect... Well actually, he's always boiling - so he'd never wear one anyway.) I'm not sure he's going to go for the whole tea-towel thing either. Joel's never really liked dressing up anyway...
So - any ideas? Particularly ideas that don't involve sewing prowess.
All I need now is for Nathan's nursery play to also need a costume of even greater difficulty - like being the donkey! There is no job in the world that requires as complex a skill mix as Motherhood.
Tuesday 16 November 2010
Wisdom and Tractors
Nathan's been at home with me for the last couple of days, due to him having the same virus as me (we like to share!)... As you know from my last post, being ill and coughing all night doesn't fill me with joy, and I hate seeing the children poorly too; however - there are silver linings if you look for them...
I spent this morning in pyjamas, (Thank you Sarah for doing the school run for me xx) playing snap, having cuddles and warm drinks, and generally chilling out with my littlest boy. Life with Nathan isn't always fun and games, but his concerns are generally less complicated than a grown up. We spent a fair bit of time sat on stools in the kitchen, pretending we were riding on a tractor. The biggest concern in Nathan's head wasn't: "This cough is really annoying and tiring, and I wish I felt better" - valid though that would have been. His head was occupied with much more interesting things, like how to make the best tractor engine noise, and which location we should visit on our tractor next... Obviously it's perfectly plausible to ride on your pretend tractor to Thomas Land, and then continue on to go Ten Pin Bowling... in Africa. And then drive back to your farm again.
Sometimes I think I could learn a lot from Nathan and his approach to life, (although maybe not his geography!) The way he's feeling doesn't interrupt the more important things in life, like playing; or when it is bad enough to properly get in the way, he just comes to me - knowing that I'll do my best to sort it out for him, he trusts his mummy, and doesn't waste his time and energy worrying about things he can't sort out anyway.
After lunch today, he just crawled up onto my lap. When I asked if he was tired, he said he was - so I took him up to bed for a nap. As we walked up the stairs, he said "then I can play later"; something I always used to say to him to convince him to have a nap, 'so he had the energy to play later'. Hmmm... Resting; so you have the energy to do something later. Sounds like another useful tip to me.
In the Bible there are two women called Mary and Martha. They are sisters who are hosting Jesus and his friends, and there's obviously lots to do (sound familiar?) Martha is cross - as Mary is spending all her time listening to Jesus, and not helping her with the work. I feel for Martha, I understand the pull of trying to get everything done, and the frustration of not getting the help she thought she should have; but she missed out. She missed the opportunity to sit and listen, to be with Jesus, to rest - so she had the energy to play later. After all, Jesus did say: "Come to me, all who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest." (Matthew 11:28)
Maybe I need to be a bit more Mary (or Nathan), and a bit less Martha. I think I started today by playing tractors, and ignoring the washing.
I spent this morning in pyjamas, (Thank you Sarah for doing the school run for me xx) playing snap, having cuddles and warm drinks, and generally chilling out with my littlest boy. Life with Nathan isn't always fun and games, but his concerns are generally less complicated than a grown up. We spent a fair bit of time sat on stools in the kitchen, pretending we were riding on a tractor. The biggest concern in Nathan's head wasn't: "This cough is really annoying and tiring, and I wish I felt better" - valid though that would have been. His head was occupied with much more interesting things, like how to make the best tractor engine noise, and which location we should visit on our tractor next... Obviously it's perfectly plausible to ride on your pretend tractor to Thomas Land, and then continue on to go Ten Pin Bowling... in Africa. And then drive back to your farm again.
Sometimes I think I could learn a lot from Nathan and his approach to life, (although maybe not his geography!) The way he's feeling doesn't interrupt the more important things in life, like playing; or when it is bad enough to properly get in the way, he just comes to me - knowing that I'll do my best to sort it out for him, he trusts his mummy, and doesn't waste his time and energy worrying about things he can't sort out anyway.
After lunch today, he just crawled up onto my lap. When I asked if he was tired, he said he was - so I took him up to bed for a nap. As we walked up the stairs, he said "then I can play later"; something I always used to say to him to convince him to have a nap, 'so he had the energy to play later'. Hmmm... Resting; so you have the energy to do something later. Sounds like another useful tip to me.
In the Bible there are two women called Mary and Martha. They are sisters who are hosting Jesus and his friends, and there's obviously lots to do (sound familiar?) Martha is cross - as Mary is spending all her time listening to Jesus, and not helping her with the work. I feel for Martha, I understand the pull of trying to get everything done, and the frustration of not getting the help she thought she should have; but she missed out. She missed the opportunity to sit and listen, to be with Jesus, to rest - so she had the energy to play later. After all, Jesus did say: "Come to me, all who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest." (Matthew 11:28)
Maybe I need to be a bit more Mary (or Nathan), and a bit less Martha. I think I started today by playing tractors, and ignoring the washing.
Thursday 11 November 2010
Inheritance
I'm coughing again. This is bad, and yet not unfamiliar. It probably goes with the territory for a lot of asthmatics I would guess. I've had a barely noticeable cold, during which I've had to blow my nose precisely twice; however I've still gone on to develop the post-viral cough of all evilness.
If you haven't experienced this either personally, or by having to share a bed with someone who has - consider yourself blessed. Basically, you cough in the day a bit - but then when you lie down and try to sleep, the cough turns into an evil sleep inhibiting monster. It's enough to require ear-plugs, muttering and sometimes separate beds in our house...
I probably get my predisposition to this sort of thing from my Mum. She's always been a cough-er; which I think is decidedly unfair - since it was my Dad who smoked for years. (He gave up when the price of cigarettes went up in the budget in 1982!) Anyway, as I know to my cost, genes aren't always fair... After all, I've never smoked either - that said, I would have been a fool to start, considering I've been asthmatic since I was ten.
My Mum inherited her dodgy lungs from her Dad, so I can hardly hold it against her. The trouble is, I'm now having to face up to passing on my occasionally ropey genetic material to my own fabulous offspring. Both the boys have a tendency towards ear infections (as do I), Joel has dodgy lungs - although not true asthma yet, and colour blindness passes down the X chromosome, so effectively Joel is colour blind because of me. All this is serious fuel for mother-guilt...
That said, the boys (thank goodness) also have inherited a whole load of good things, both from me and from Paul. Things like Joel's ability to read so well so early (just like me, and his aunty Sharon), or like Nathan's innate knowledge of cars (no surprises where he gets that from...). I am thankful everyday that the boys and I don't have more serious health problems to deal with too - after all, as genetic issues go, colour blindness is very small on the scale... Just don't ask me to do too much rejoicing on a day after very little sleep due to the cough-monster.
If you haven't experienced this either personally, or by having to share a bed with someone who has - consider yourself blessed. Basically, you cough in the day a bit - but then when you lie down and try to sleep, the cough turns into an evil sleep inhibiting monster. It's enough to require ear-plugs, muttering and sometimes separate beds in our house...
I probably get my predisposition to this sort of thing from my Mum. She's always been a cough-er; which I think is decidedly unfair - since it was my Dad who smoked for years. (He gave up when the price of cigarettes went up in the budget in 1982!) Anyway, as I know to my cost, genes aren't always fair... After all, I've never smoked either - that said, I would have been a fool to start, considering I've been asthmatic since I was ten.
My Mum inherited her dodgy lungs from her Dad, so I can hardly hold it against her. The trouble is, I'm now having to face up to passing on my occasionally ropey genetic material to my own fabulous offspring. Both the boys have a tendency towards ear infections (as do I), Joel has dodgy lungs - although not true asthma yet, and colour blindness passes down the X chromosome, so effectively Joel is colour blind because of me. All this is serious fuel for mother-guilt...
That said, the boys (thank goodness) also have inherited a whole load of good things, both from me and from Paul. Things like Joel's ability to read so well so early (just like me, and his aunty Sharon), or like Nathan's innate knowledge of cars (no surprises where he gets that from...). I am thankful everyday that the boys and I don't have more serious health problems to deal with too - after all, as genetic issues go, colour blindness is very small on the scale... Just don't ask me to do too much rejoicing on a day after very little sleep due to the cough-monster.
Tuesday 9 November 2010
Happiness is - a cup of tea in bed...
Yesterday, on the wettest and most horrible day of the school run so far this year, I was blessed in many ways...
My husband happened to have taken the day off, having worked on Saturday this weekend just gone. Joel was very happy that Daddy was going to be around, and (unprompted by me I hasten to add!) asked Paul to take him to school.
Paul - being as he is a nice Daddy, and also because I had got up early with the boys on Sunday - agreed to take the boys to school. So the next morning, with the wind howling and the rain pelting down, my three boys set out from the house, whilst I remained curled up in bed. Heaven.
Life got even better when Paul got home, when he (again unprompted by me - wonders will never cease!) brought me up a cup of tea. I think tea making might be one of my love languages...
Paul ended up doing all the school and nursery runs yesterday, and I even managed to have a singing lesson without taking Nathan with me. Paul even did a food shop... It was nice that Paul had a day off, and effectively I had one too - although I still cooked everybody dinner.
I think, although the school runs went well (unlike this morning, but that's another story...) Paul now has renewed appreciation for what I do each day. I am very grateful. Well done super-dad!
My husband happened to have taken the day off, having worked on Saturday this weekend just gone. Joel was very happy that Daddy was going to be around, and (unprompted by me I hasten to add!) asked Paul to take him to school.
Paul - being as he is a nice Daddy, and also because I had got up early with the boys on Sunday - agreed to take the boys to school. So the next morning, with the wind howling and the rain pelting down, my three boys set out from the house, whilst I remained curled up in bed. Heaven.
Life got even better when Paul got home, when he (again unprompted by me - wonders will never cease!) brought me up a cup of tea. I think tea making might be one of my love languages...
Paul ended up doing all the school and nursery runs yesterday, and I even managed to have a singing lesson without taking Nathan with me. Paul even did a food shop... It was nice that Paul had a day off, and effectively I had one too - although I still cooked everybody dinner.
I think, although the school runs went well (unlike this morning, but that's another story...) Paul now has renewed appreciation for what I do each day. I am very grateful. Well done super-dad!
Friday 5 November 2010
Just the way you are
This week I took the boys to the opticians for a routine check up. I wasn't expecting there to be any major problems - I was certain that they wouldn't be needing glasses. I was slightly suspicious that Joel might be colour blind (or colour restricted... I know, very PC) as he's always had trouble discerning some colours, especially the paler ones.
The test was done very sensitively by the optician, who gave him the first 'Ishihara plate' to look at, (Have you seen these before? They are pictures with coloured dots on, with different colours making pathways, or sometimes numbers on them) which was done purely on contrast - so at least he understood what he was trying to do. However, when he got onto the actual test, he couldn't see any differences at all in the colours there, he looked quite blank really. It was so odd to see him flounder like that, and heart-wrenching too - especially when he later had to sit through his brother completing the same tasks with minimal effort.
Joel is a very able child, and I think this will have been a new experience for him. He so rarely struggles to complete the tasks put before him. The optician was great at explaining to him (and to me) that it wasn't anything he was doing wrong - it was just that his eyes weren't set up to see as many different colours as some other people's. It also shed light on the fact that Joel has always claimed his favourite colour to be brown - which I always thought was an unusual choice for a small child (although I guess chocolate is brown...) It turns out that Joel sees the world in various shades of brown - so I guess it's good that he likes it...
I'm still thinking through the implications of this. It feels weird to me that Joel might have some restrictions on his career choice, when he's always been able to do anything he put his mind towards. I know that we will just have to deal with any issues as they arise.
I was so proud of Joel. We left the opticians with him saying: 'So if I can't tell if something's yellow or pale green, I can ask Nathan and he can tell me'. I love the fact that he was already solving the potential problem, and also that he was starting to handle the fact that his little brother could do something that he couldn't manage. I suppose the earlier we understand that some people find some things easier or harder than us, and that's OK, the better life is for everyone. I think Joel understands this more than the average five year old anyway.
It also gave me the chance to tell Joel that I love him, just the way he is. That I believe God made his eyes (and all of him) just the way He wants them to be. I've since found out that colour blind people often have very good night vision, as they're so used to seeing things only with contrast... Maybe he'll be some kind of superhero...
The test was done very sensitively by the optician, who gave him the first 'Ishihara plate' to look at, (Have you seen these before? They are pictures with coloured dots on, with different colours making pathways, or sometimes numbers on them) which was done purely on contrast - so at least he understood what he was trying to do. However, when he got onto the actual test, he couldn't see any differences at all in the colours there, he looked quite blank really. It was so odd to see him flounder like that, and heart-wrenching too - especially when he later had to sit through his brother completing the same tasks with minimal effort.
Joel is a very able child, and I think this will have been a new experience for him. He so rarely struggles to complete the tasks put before him. The optician was great at explaining to him (and to me) that it wasn't anything he was doing wrong - it was just that his eyes weren't set up to see as many different colours as some other people's. It also shed light on the fact that Joel has always claimed his favourite colour to be brown - which I always thought was an unusual choice for a small child (although I guess chocolate is brown...) It turns out that Joel sees the world in various shades of brown - so I guess it's good that he likes it...
I'm still thinking through the implications of this. It feels weird to me that Joel might have some restrictions on his career choice, when he's always been able to do anything he put his mind towards. I know that we will just have to deal with any issues as they arise.
I was so proud of Joel. We left the opticians with him saying: 'So if I can't tell if something's yellow or pale green, I can ask Nathan and he can tell me'. I love the fact that he was already solving the potential problem, and also that he was starting to handle the fact that his little brother could do something that he couldn't manage. I suppose the earlier we understand that some people find some things easier or harder than us, and that's OK, the better life is for everyone. I think Joel understands this more than the average five year old anyway.
It also gave me the chance to tell Joel that I love him, just the way he is. That I believe God made his eyes (and all of him) just the way He wants them to be. I've since found out that colour blind people often have very good night vision, as they're so used to seeing things only with contrast... Maybe he'll be some kind of superhero...
Tuesday 2 November 2010
Words and Letters
It's always exciting when your kids learn to do something new... Having learnt all his letters now, Nathan is just starting to look at letters together - and work out the words that they spell.
It's great when he introduces himself. For days now he's been saying "Hello - it's me - Nathan!" by way of introduction; but yesterday when talking to a friend of mine, he said: "Hello - it's me - Nathan - n-a-t-h-a-n - Nathan!" Marvellous.
Obviously, the opportunities for reading are endless, after all - there are words everywhere. It's always interesting what takes his attention; it's not always the things you would expect.
Yesterday he was very proud having read the word 'bus' - no surprises there. Transport features very highly in Nathan's favourite things.
It's great when he introduces himself. For days now he's been saying "Hello - it's me - Nathan!" by way of introduction; but yesterday when talking to a friend of mine, he said: "Hello - it's me - Nathan - n-a-t-h-a-n - Nathan!" Marvellous.
Obviously, the opportunities for reading are endless, after all - there are words everywhere. It's always interesting what takes his attention; it's not always the things you would expect.
Yesterday he was very proud having read the word 'bus' - no surprises there. Transport features very highly in Nathan's favourite things.
What made me laugh, was when - sitting at the dinner table - he finished his drink - sat looking at the bottom of his glass - and pronounced: "i-k-e-a - Ikea!" Of all the words in all the world... :o)
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