We talk about all sorts of things: life, learning, God the universe and everything really. We also spend a fair amount of time talking about relationships.
One story I've told them recently, is about something that happened to me just over ten years ago...
It was the summer after my first year of university, and I was spending the day with Cath, one of my old school friends. Cath wouldn't mind me telling you that she'd had a very bad track record with men; habitually attracted to the bad boy who would behave badly and treat her even worse. It pained me to see her hurt - again.
I concocted a plan. I got her to write 'The List'.
This list was to have all the characteristics she wanted in her next boyfriend on it. The main part of it was full of non-negotiables, the things that weren't up for discussion. Then at the end, she added a few preferences...
She felt a bit daft writing it, so I (happily single at the time) decided to write a list too. I made it comically specific:
- Male
- Christian
- Aged 20-25
- Caring
- Secure in himself
- A bit taller than me - maybe 5 foot 10
- Brown, curly hair
- Brown eyes
Now I know there's nothing magic about writing a list like this - of course not. And I know that sometimes the people we marry aren't always 'our type'. I would have still married Paul if he'd had different colour hair (!)... I still think it's a good idea to think about what you really want in your partner, and then stick to it; it might help in relationship disaster prevention!
Cath, my lovely school friend, now has a lovely list-fulfilling husband of her own, and a beautiful new baby too. It's amazing what can happen in ten years, isn't it?
