Tuesday 31 August 2010

La la Laaaaa!

I mentioned in a post earlier on that I'm playing my guitar and singing more in public these days. (See 'a side order of self-confidence' post.) One of the things that I've been doing for this is having some singing lessons. I'm doing this for a number of reasons, although my voice isn't bad - I want it to be stronger, especially on the high notes! 

This has been fun; partially because my singing teacher Sarah is a very good friend of mine.  Also, because she encourages me to use my comedy opera voice sometimes (You know the one, it's the one you use when you're trying to get your kids to open their mouths whilst you brush their teeth! - or is that just me...) 

Sarah's encouraged me to find some songs that I really like, that I think will challenge me vocally.  It's been great trawling through the CD collection and finding some really great songs.  My sister Sharon has already introduced me to Joni Mitchell who has an awesome collection of interesting songs (see http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pTVjCWekS1Q&feature=related,) and then there's Tracy Chapman and Nina Simone.  I'm also remembering bits of my childhood, where Carole King was required listening...  If I can master even half of these - I'll be pretty darn good.

I know it's difficult to pin it down - but I was wondering - what is your favourite song ever?  If you like, you can narrow it down to 'favourite song ever - for singing purposes'...

I'm not sure I can answer this question for me, but for the kids (thanks again to Aunty Sharon, and the power of Singstar) it would probably be 'I believe in a thing called love' by The Darkness, or possibly 'Song 2' by Blur.  They really are too cool for school...

Saturday 28 August 2010

One to one time...

The sun shone today (hoorah!), and so the boys and I took the chance to go cycling at a local reservoir.  Joel (son number 1 - aged 5) and I set off together, leaving Nathan (aged 3) to pootle along at a slower pace, with Daddy for company.

We managed about 3 miles all in all, which I thought was quite impressive.  Maybe another day, with a bit more planning, and a lot more food, we'll actually make it the whole way round.

I realised whilst we were out, how little time I spend one to one with Joel, and it got me wondering how common our approach is.  When Joel was small, it took both of us to look after him; although there were certain vital functions only I was equipped for.  Then when Nathan came along, we tended to aim to divide and conquer - I tackled the baby, Paul tackled the toddler - after all, Joel wanted as much daddy-time as possible, and I was still feeding Nathan, so the roles were pretty obvious.  We've pretty much kept things this way round though; me looking after Nathan, Joel with his Daddy; I guess the system wasn't broken, so we never tried to fix it.  After all, there are many times when we (particularly me) look after both the boys.

The thing is, now Nathan's old enough to be keen on Daddy time too.  In fact, he's quite a man's man.  If there's one solitary Dad at a park or soft play centre, he'll seek him out for a bit of manly interaction.  He likes to chat and pass the time with any man who'll listen to him.

Today made me realise how important it is to swap our natural roles around occasionally.  Joel and I cycled further than we ever could have done with Nathan in tow.  We also chatted about school, his friends, the universe and everything really.  Nathan got some well deserved Daddy time too, and I'm certain he will have loved it. 

Difficult though it can be; I'm sure it's worth blocking in some one to one time with our children.  I think it might be the thing that helps me get to know them best.  What do you think?

Thursday 26 August 2010

Ikea: A sonnet

How do we love you? Let me count the ways...
We love you for your deepest shade of blue
And for the car park full of vehicles there
parking for free, one hour or maybe two.

We love the random names of all your things;
The poangs, trofast, mammut and the malm.
The maps and all the arrows on the floor,
Play areas to keep the grown-ups calm.

But most of all the inexpensive food
Which fills us up with meatballs and with joy,
The refillable cups of tea for mum
And Daimbar cake for every growing boy.

A place to go on any rainy day
That doesn't break the bank - hip hip hooray!

Tuesday 24 August 2010

Words

I spent some time looking after my beautiful God daughter yesterday.  (I think any mother of boys should endeavour to have a God daughter; endless excuse for girly behaviour and pink purchases...) Anyway, it all went well, and I was pleased to discover that she mastered some new words whilst she was with us - namely, apple (or 'bapple'), monkey ('dunkey') and sheep (OK - actually 'beep'!).

I'd semi-forgotten how much I like this phase.  Amelia is 21 months old now, and she's pretty much learning a new word every day.  How cool is that? I love the way you start to get an insight into what's going on in their amazing little heads.  Amelia has always had plenty of personality - but now she gets the chance to express it so much more.  I like the way they babble on, mostly unintelligibly, but just throwing in the odd understandable word.

It's not that long since my own children were doing a similar thing; but it's amazing to me how quickly it fades in your memory.  Joel used to call butterflies 'numenies', and Nathan mispronounced all sorts of things, but I'm starting to forget the details. My favourite of Nathan's is actually pretty recent:  We were all watching the Grand Prix together, and he was playing with some toy F1 cars and shouting; 'Come on Jenson Bottom!' (easy enough to guess who he meant there), and 'Come on Mrs Harrington!'  It took us a while to realise he meant Lewis Hamilton.  I laughed so much I thought I might burst.  I'm kind of hoping to keep these as an on-going family joke to be honest.

'Come on Mrs Harrington!'

Sunday 22 August 2010

I want to ride my bicycle...

I did some cycling today, by choice, just for fun.

There we go - I've said it.  Confession over.  I did exercise of my own free will.  Yes, I know - it was a lovely morning.  I never claimed to be anything other than a fair weather cyclist.  And part of my motivation was to get some time on my own.  Alone-time has been at a bit of a premium over the summer holidays. 

The thing is - I've never looked forward to exercise before.  It's an entirely new experience for me.  Maybe it's true, you really do just have to keep trying different things until you find something you like.  Odd really though, because I never liked cycling before...  The difference is made by having somewhere to cycle that you only have to tackle roads and/or hills if you want to.  I'm still avoiding hills - I'm too scared to go down them, and too unfit to go up them...  But - thanks to wonderful husband - I have now braved roads.  I can even balance well enough to signal if I'm turning somewhere...  I know - impressive stuff.

The cycling appears to be catching too.  Son number one has now mastered cycling without stabilizers, and son number two has mastered pedalling.  Surely it's only a matter of time before Sir Chris Hoy is coming round for tea! 
Hmmm...  do you think they have any family events in the 2012 Olympics?

Thursday 19 August 2010

A side order of self-confidence

Have you ever wished you could just go to the super market and buy something completely ethereal? I know I have...  When the boys were small, I used to wish (and sometimes still do actually) that I could just go and buy 48 hours sleep.  Or maybe a second pair of hands...

I think we can probably all list a number of impossible purchases that would make our lives better / easier / less stressful.  Personally, at the moment, I would really like a portion of boldness, with a side order of self-confidence. 

I'm doing a few things that go against my naturally reserved state at the moment, but the thing I really want to feel confident about is playing my guitar and singing at the same time.  This is not easy; I'm profoundly impressed by anyone who does it well, as it takes an awful lot of my brain power.  I'm playing and singing more at the church I go to; and so far, I think it's gone really well actually.  I would just love to be able to do it without feeling nervous and self conscious - after all - these people know me and love me, so how bad can it it actually be?

One of my favourite verses in the Bible is Joshua 1:9.  It says: 

"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go."(New International Version)

This is pretty clear really.  I don't need to worry, because God is always there with me; whether I'm playing the guitar in public or actually doing something properly scary.  Now I know not everyone believes in God, or that what the Bible says is true.  I do though - and I'm just wondering how amazing life would be if we  could actually manage to live out our lives according to some of these awesome promises.

John Ortberg has written a fabulous book (actually - he's written many - check out http://johnortberg.com/?page_id=2) called 'If you want to walk on water, you've got to get out of the boat'.  It looks at the famous incident in the Bible where Jesus walks on water, and Peter tries to walk to him (see Matthew 14).  The book explores how although this looks like a big failure for Peter, he was actually the only one brave enough to have a go; and how much he learned from this experience.  Then it goes on to look at how we only develop as people if we step out of our comfort zones and try something new.

So although it would be easier to just buy some boldness from a shop - I know I'll learn more from the process of doing the challenging thing.  I think the only true way to gain confidence is by facing up to the scary thing and doing it anyway.  So I guess it's time to just 'woman up' and get on with it...

Tuesday 17 August 2010

Wobbly Tooth

Sometimes the smallest things can be the most profound...

My son Joel is five, and he has recently discovered his first wobbly tooth.  To him, this is exciting; a chance to ponder tooth fairies and what he might do with the coin that might appear under his pillow.

I was surprised to find that this small piece of news made me feel a bit emotional.  After all, I expected this to happen reasonably soon - Joel got his teeth early, so I'd always thought he'd lose them on the early side too. 

The thing that got me was the fact that it's a whole new developmental stage.  It's like a line in the sand, or any other transition I suppose.  My son is not a baby anymore.  Actually - anyone who knows him, knows that he hasn't been a baby for a long time.  Maybe it's just that it feels like the end of something.  Time has passed, and it's weird to think that your children are only small for such a short time, particularly as when you're in the middle of it, the small child phase feels never-ending because it is so all consuming.

Also, I think, it's time to celebrate.  I've nurtured Joel for six years (if you count the nine months I carried him!) and he's growing up well and doing everything he should be.  It's good to step back occasionally, and realise that time is running by.  Carpe Diem everyone; seize the day.

Thursday 12 August 2010

Food is not 'bad'

Am I the only person worried by how much schools are pushing 'healthy' eating? 

My elder son Joel has just finished his first year at primary school, and during that time he's learnt a lot about all sorts of things.  He's loved school, which of course is great.  His school have helped him settle in, and generally been brilliant; so I don't want this to sound like a disgruntled parent rant...

Don't misunderstand me - I'm all for children eating healthily.  My children have a pretty good diet, plenty of fresh fruit and vegetables, sensible-ish amounts of protein, carbs etc etc.  Not too many sweets.  Even the odd bit of oily fish.  They aren't over-weight and their teeth aren't falling out.  All in all, they're a picture of health and energy - they're certainly active enough to be exhausting me over the summer holidays!

The thing is, Joel now regularly reads packaging on food and tells me how many calories there are in each portion, or how much fat they contain.  He asks me if they have too much salt, or too much sugar.  And I guess all of that is fair enough; what bothers me is how each food has been given the label of 'heathy' or 'unhealthy', 'good' or 'bad'. 

Joel recently told me that chocolate was unhealthy, which personally - I thought was a major disaster!  Not to mention a gross over simplification...  Chocolate has actually been shown to be good for all sorts of things. 

I don't think there are many foods that could truly carry the label 'bad', and I guess they'd be the ones full of artificial additives and things which when given to children, you knew that within 20 minutes you'd be scraping them off the ceiling. 

I think talking about how much your body needs of something, rather than whether it is good or bad has got to be the more sensible approach, especially where children are concerned.  Children are so impressionable, and at this early stage words from teachers are taken as gospel truth.  I think labelling any food as bad is potentially dangerous too, given that so many younger and younger children are considering dieting, and the rates of eating disorders in children and young teenagers are higher than ever.

Food is GOOD

The boys and I have just made a chocolate cake - we just won't eat it all today...

Tuesday 10 August 2010

So here's the thing...

I've been married - mostly happily - for nine years now.  I know, I was a child bride...

The thing is, I married an engineer.  A nice, clever, exceedingly reliable engineer type chap.  Nothing shocking there, I know.  We pootled along quite nicely in the early stages, he even bought me 21 red roses for my 21st birthday; I know - romance truly displayed by engineer-brained man! 

Everyone knows though, that relationships don't stay the same.  We've been together over a decade now; got married, had two children, bought a family house, changed jobs etc etc.  Now, life is different, and romance isn't top of either of our agendas.  However - and herein lies the rub - it's much nearer the top of my agenda than it is on his.  So - what to do next...  Is there a way to keep us both happy?

There's a well known book called 'The Five Love Languages' by Gary Chapman. See  http://www.5lovelanguages.com/
It looks at how different people feel loved, by looking at what speaks to them:
  1. affirming words
  2. physical touch
  3. thoughtful gifts
  4. quality time
  5. acts of service
These are the ways (or languages) you might experience love.  You can answer a quick quiz on this website - and it will tell you which love language you speak most strongly.  I've done this, and actually (unsurprisingly to me) it came out with affirming words.  The thing is - I actually speak them all.  And ironically, Paul doesn't really speak any, except possibly acts of service.  So what to do?

A wise man once told me that in order to remain 'in love' with your spouse, you have to keep doing the things you did when you were first together.  Feelings are fickle beasts, and will follow on if we perservere with loving our partner.  So - what did we do??  Well, one thing I know Paul really likes is going for long walks in the countryside - preferably with several maps etc...  So last week when his parents had the boys for us, that's what we did.  Quality time - check, affirming words - check, acts of service - check (if you count him helping me over a wobbly stile!)

So I'd like to know (with family friendly content - you know what I mean...)  what things your other half has done for you that have helped you feel loved?  How do you keep the romance in your relationship?  It's over to you...

Wednesday 4 August 2010

The rainy day blues...

To the tune of any blues classic you've ever heard....


Woke up this morning (ba ba ba-ba-ba!)
Hoping for some sun
Looked out the window
But the rain had just begun

    I've got the blues
    Oh the rainy day blues

Gave my kids their breakfast
Waited for them to say
Their usual queston:
'Mum - can we go out to play?'

    They got the blues
    Oh the rainy day blues
    Ain't no need for shoes
    They got the rainy day blues

Everything is dripping
No washing on the line
The clock is ticking slowly
A tiny second at a time

    We got the blues
    We got the rainy day blues
    Trying not to blow a fuse
    We got the rainy day blues
   
    We got the blues
    Oh the rainy day blues
    And you know it's just no use
    Still got the rainy day blues



Thank goodness for CBeebies xxx

Monday 2 August 2010

About Me

Hi there.

I'm Gill.  I'm 30 years old, and I've been married for nine years.  I have two fabulous but exhausting small boys - so in my house I am seriously outnumbered...

In my life before children (and a bit afterwards too - more about that later) I worked as a hospital based midwife at an average sized NHS hospital.  I enjoyed my work - but found the juggle between shift work, childcare, house work and life exceedingly difficult.  I left my job just after my first son started school, which I'm sure seemed odd to some people.  I realised that if things didn't feel easier then, they weren't going to - at least for a while.

I'm writing this as an outlet for my thoughts on life, love, the universe and everything really.  I'm interested in lots of things:  How do you fully embrace motherhood, and still keep a grasp of your own sense of self?  How can you stay happily married - can you keep romance in your relationship?  How can you look at the universe, or at your children, and think they weren't created by someone very, very clever?  How can anyone feel good about their figure, when there are beautiful, but very slender celebrity pictures everywhere you look?  What is the best chocolate brownie recipe in the world? The list is endless...

So here's hoping this is interesting to someone other than me! 
Gxx