The sun shone today (hoorah!), and so the boys and I took the chance to go cycling at a local reservoir. Joel (son number 1 - aged 5) and I set off together, leaving Nathan (aged 3) to pootle along at a slower pace, with Daddy for company.
We managed about 3 miles all in all, which I thought was quite impressive. Maybe another day, with a bit more planning, and a lot more food, we'll actually make it the whole way round.
I realised whilst we were out, how little time I spend one to one with Joel, and it got me wondering how common our approach is. When Joel was small, it took both of us to look after him; although there were certain vital functions only I was equipped for. Then when Nathan came along, we tended to aim to divide and conquer - I tackled the baby, Paul tackled the toddler - after all, Joel wanted as much daddy-time as possible, and I was still feeding Nathan, so the roles were pretty obvious. We've pretty much kept things this way round though; me looking after Nathan, Joel with his Daddy; I guess the system wasn't broken, so we never tried to fix it. After all, there are many times when we (particularly me) look after both the boys.
The thing is, now Nathan's old enough to be keen on Daddy time too. In fact, he's quite a man's man. If there's one solitary Dad at a park or soft play centre, he'll seek him out for a bit of manly interaction. He likes to chat and pass the time with any man who'll listen to him.
Today made me realise how important it is to swap our natural roles around occasionally. Joel and I cycled further than we ever could have done with Nathan in tow. We also chatted about school, his friends, the universe and everything really. Nathan got some well deserved Daddy time too, and I'm certain he will have loved it.
Difficult though it can be; I'm sure it's worth blocking in some one to one time with our children. I think it might be the thing that helps me get to know them best. What do you think?
I think I have quite a lot of one-to-one time at the moment but I shall bear your comments in mind for the future.
ReplyDeleteI think you're right as a wider point - that it's important to keep thinking about what we're doing and how we do it and whether we need to change who does what. Matt keeps suggesting that now Phoebe is weaning and has occasional bottles of formula, my claims that I do the feeding so he should do more nappy-changing should be revisited. I am resisting this.
Totally agree - and sometimes it seems so hard to do! On our hols I went off with my little girl to the local shop which had a little deli/cafe/coffee bar (yum) several times - we had big girl breakfast and daddy and little bro stayed at home!! All the more important as little bro's special needs do mean he gets loads of our attention. She loved it and we chewed the fat (and our danish pastries). I'm hoping to continue this girl time!
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