Precious

I've recently bought a limited edition (ooh-er) shower gel (not so ooh-er) that calls itself "Precious".  It's supposedly made with Jasmin and Cotton Milk...  I'm not sure it makes me feel more precious, but it smells nice, and it is a girly pink shade - so it can't be all bad.

It did prompt me to remember a song I know by a singer songwriter called Martyn Joseph:

This song always makes me realise that ache that we all have inside to feel precious; to be valued; to be cherished...

The pearl in someone's hand.

I think many of us struggle to feel like that. 
We doubt our own value, often linking it to our achievements.  I have many young friends who have just finished exams, and the pressure to achieve has been immense.  Don't get me wrong.  I know studying is important; but the moment the results you get seem to explicitly affect your value as a person - things have gone badly wrong. 

There are many other things that we rely on to boost our self image.  Things like how attractive we are, how popular we are, or how influential we think we are.  These things are so precarious.  Relying on any of these sorts of things is fraught with uncertainty.  Unless we find something or someone entirely trustworthy and unchanging, we are destined to never be secure in our value or anything else.

Thankfully, we don't have to waste our time and energy worrying about these things.  In fact, if we take the Bible at it's word (something I'm trying to do a lot more...), we don't have to worry at all.  In Matthew 6 it says:

“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?

So today - even if you don't know anything else - know that you're precious to a God who made you just the way you are, and who is capable of meeting any need you might have.  And that can do more for you than Jasmin and cotton milk ever could.

I was made for this

What do Bruce Springsteen, Steppenwolf and Vin Diesel's character xXx have in common?

*Obscure connection alert*

They all know what they were born to do. 

They were born to run, be wild, and 'for this ****' (ie jumping off tall buildings whilst shooting at random bad guys etc...) respectively.

I know it's sometimes difficult to know what you were made to do.  Sometimes it's difficult to know what to do from one day (or hour) to the next.  I know that life with small children can make it very difficult to see beyond the end of your own nose, and that actually - just keeping everybody fed and clean, and not so sleep deprived that they are constantly crying (this applies to both big and small people) is enough to be managing, without thinking about anything more long term.

I know young people (I know this makes me sound like an old bag, but bear with me...) find this whole thing particularly stressful.  From early on at secondary school they are expected to be making choices with an eye on their future career path.  Just studying History because you like History isn't seen as good motivation... You have to know where you are going with everything.  It's easy to feel completely at sea.  Like you're drifting aimlessly with no real purpose.

It's at times like this when I cling onto the promises I find in the Bible.  Things like:

"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you."  Jeremiah 29:11-12

I find it amazing that God has even given me a single thought.  After all, He does have quite a lot to be getting on with.  But there it is in black and white; He doesn't just think about me - He has plans and purposes for me and my little life.  Amazing.

In his time on earth, Jesus was passionate in his desire to help people become all they were created to be.  He claimed:

"I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full." John 10:10

It's reasonable to state that this is still what Jesus longs to do for every person.  I'm sure that it is. However, sometimes I wonder if I would recognise 'life to the full' if it jumped up and bit me...  I can be so preoccupied with other things.  So easily distracted.

And yet, sometimes I catch a glimpse - a tantalizing taste - of what life can be like. 

I had one of those moments on Sunday evening at church when I was leading the worship.  All the elements of the service had come together as if we'd spent hours planning it (which we hadn't!), and we were singing a song that I just knew was going to be right for that moment.  The band and the congregation were altogether as one unit, singing about the amazing God who we have come to know and love, because He first loved us - and gave everything for us. 

And I just felt like God whispered in my ear...  "I made you for this".  In that instant, I knew there was nowhere in the world I'd rather be, and nothing I'd rather be doing.  I was 100% me, living life to the full, and loving every second.

I felt humbled and yet so joyful that - for that moment in time at least - I was doing exactly what I was created for. 

I guess that's maybe how it works.  We don't always see the big picture, or where it is we're heading.  All we can do is try to offer up each moment to the God who has the plans, and do our best to walk where He's leading.

Whirly-gig Wonders

Today I faced the age-old dilemma faced by Mums (Dads / Grans etc... other carers are available...) everywhere.  Do I hang the washing out or not?

I know.  Earth shattering stuff.

The sky was part blue, part white and part grey...  It wasn't warm, but it wasn't freezing either.  I wasn't convinced that it would stay rain-free, but it was so windy outside, I had to give it a try.  It was what they call Up North, 'a good drying day'...

However, once I got the washing, pegs and rotary washing line (aka Whirly-gig) out, I realised - this was going to be no easy task...

The wind was so strong.  Unbelieveably strong.  More 'top-of-mountain' strong than 'random-suberb' strong...  As soon as I got one thing on the line, the thing spun round and round again...  I must have looked like a crazy woman; trying to hold onto the line, the pegs, and bending down to find the next sock - all at the same time.

I know that in Matthew Jesus commanded the wind and it calmed down - but I can tell you - it didn't work for me today.  Apparently God was more concerned with saving people's lives in the New Testament than He was in helping me hang out my washing...  Fair enough I guess.  I did feel like I'd done a few rounds with Mike Tyson though by the time I'd finished.  Not my most glamorous day.

I did benefit from the wind though.  After a couple of hours, the sky looked threatening - so I thought I'd take the washing in - and it was already dry.  Marvellous.  I am in fact the Queen of Laundry...

Do I get a crown with that?

Not-so-Silent Witness - part 2

Anyone else feeling nervous about watching Silent Witness tonight?  This week it's the series finale, so heaven alone knows what they can do to top last week's hide-behind-a-cushion Harry dead, then amazingly not dead two parter...  Here's hoping they don't actually kill someone off...  Would it be too Hollywood to actually have a happy ending for once?  Hmmm... probably.

Last week's episodes drew a lot of discussion as to whether or not it was fair on the audience to kill Harry quite blatantly in episode one, and then have him actually not dead - and saved in an unlikely manner, which wouldn't have fitted the timeline they showed in episode one.  Personally, I was just relieved by the not dead-ness of it all, but I could understand the point that playing on the emotions to boost the shock factor (and maybe the ratings?) might be a bit unfair.

It got me thinking however, about the publicity (or lack of) given to someone else who actually did die, and then was alive again. 

You might know where I'm going with this - or you might not...  I felt quite challenged that I write quite freely about a plot line in a BBC drama, but actually - it's more difficult to write about the death and resurrection of Jesus, a real person who really died - in a horrible way, even worse than anything the script writers have ever come up with on Silent Witness, and then was miraculously made alive again - what the Bible refers to as resurrection. 

The thing is, I believe that what the Bible says about Jesus is true.  That it's a historical account of Jesus' life-death-and life on earth; and that everything He said is true too.  You might well disagree with me, and that's your choice; but if there's even a small possibility that God's Son came to earth and died a horrible death in order to free people from sin and death, and give them life - then isn't that worth finding out about?

One way of exploring these things is to go on an Alpha course.  This is a course written by a guy called Nicky Gumbel who leads a big church in London.  It covers all sorts of interesting questions such as: Who was Jesus?  Why did He die?  What's in the Bible?  How do I pray? etc. etc.  Alpha Courses are run all over the world in all sorts of places from churches to prisons.  You can find out more about Alpha by clicking here.

However, if you live in the Rugby area, and are free on Wednesdays this week onwards, my church are running an Alpha course in Mosaic, our fabulous coffee shop.  Each Wednesday evening at 8pm they'll be a chance to hear a speaker, discuss questions like the ones above, and drink nice coffee and (even better in my opinion) eat nice cake!  If you want you can email the church office (office@becchurch.org.uk) to let them know you're coming, or you can just turn up.  You won't regret it.

So here's me, being a Not-so-silent Witness...  Gxx

The best present of all?...

Apologies to those of you who are getting a bit sick of nativity related posts - I did write the last one about statistics... (purely in the interest of balance you understand!)  I have already admitted in the Christmas Decathlon that I find the run up to Christmas to be a bit of a multi-event exercise in exhaustion, but still - this weekend's episode was too good to miss.

On Sunday our church congregation did it's first nativity service.  We meet in a primary school on the housing estate where I live.  We're part of an established church in the local area, but have set up this congregation to take the church to where the people are.  It seems to be working - we had lots of visitors this week, which was great.

The morning hadn't started too well however.  Three very important people (not the three wise men - they came later...) were unable to be at church for various reasons.  The leader of our merry band was out of the country, unable to return due to the snow.   His wife - who happened to be doing the sermon - was stuck trying to collect their son who was also struggling with snow related air travel problems.  The third absentee was co-ordinating the whole service, including the nativity element itself; well - she was poorly to a level of not being able to leave the house...  We found out about these problems on the morning of the service...  Oh crumbs.  Time to keep calm and carry on!

I found a book with a nativity story in it (a present from my Mum recently - Thanks Mum, good timing!) and took it along, thinking that it would at least help us cover the nativity element of the service.  I'd got some carols and songs sorted already, and some help from a lovely lady to play the piano (Carols and guitars don't always mix...), so at least we had something to sing... 

We met up at the school, and pieced together what we had.  Someone else had brought a replacement craft activity for the children, and another super on-the-spot thinker set about writing a short talk.  Adrenalin + Holy Spirit = Super Efficiency!  We've spent the rest of December looking at how 'Nothing is impossible with God' (Luke 1:37), so I guess it was only right that we started putting it into practice...

The singing went well, although undoubtedly the highlight (for me at least) was when we sang a song called 'Come and join the celebration'.  Joel had been singing this one at school, and (not just because I found it difficult to play - honest...) he sang it really well, so I got him up to the front to lead the singing - microphone and all.  Marvellous.

After this, the Nativity itself was next.  I lifted the toy baby Jesus and the little manger centre stage as requested, only to notice something peaking out of Jesus' swaddling clothes...  It was a partially eaten, pink ring doughnut!  Oh, how we laughed...

The rest of the service went without a hitch...  The nativity was great, the singing was full of gusto, the talk was thought-provoking, and the cup of tea at the end was a master stroke.  All in all, it was Christmas in a nutshell; glorious, despite the circumstances (after all, the first Christmas hardly looked like a gloriously slick production...  Apart from maybe the angelic chorus - but then they'd had a chance to practice!)  The best present of all was (and is) Jesus, although it did remind me of a joke I knew (slightly altered for my own purposes of course)...

To a child at a nativity service...
'What's pink, round, and covered in sprinkles?'
Bemused child:
'I'm sure the answer should be Jesus - but it sure sounds like a doughnut to me'

Happy Christmas everyone. Gxxx

The Christmas Decathlon

I like Christmas.  Don't worry - I'm not going to get all Bah Humbug-ish on you.  I'm just getting a bit fed up about the run-up - the pre-amble - the flipping multi-event nature of the thing.

Joel has been practising his Christmas play, or at least the songs therein, since half term.  This is not unexpected or problematic, (we are on our second year of school now after all).  I'm sure there's a whole lot of mileage to get out of a Christmas play if you're a teacher.  Opportunities for learning, or for letting the kids who aren't academic shine at something else...  I get it. 

Nathan is now also singing Christmas songs from his nursery Christmas play around the house.  This is impossibly cute.  I do wonder how on earth the nursery staff are going to co-ordinate the little darlings into a 'play'...  Still, I know they can work wonders.  I'm actually really looking forward to seeing the finished masterpieces.

The problem is that the kids are so hyped up about Christmas, and so tired and end of term-ish already, and there's still a long time to go.  Yes I know, for adults (especially the ones like me who aren't even close to completing the Christmas shopping - Argh...) it's not very long, but when you're small, three weeks is ages.

There are also many other carol concerts, parties, craft days, carols round the tree etc etc to be navigated...  I'll be relieved when it's the end of term to be honest.  So many days of school without their usual routine is not entirely comfortable for a small boy who likes his structure. 

I'm hoping that at some point, Christmas will actually feel like it's about Jesus.  Not about making costumes (although for those of you who read Shepherd No.1, I actually bought a Shepherd costume from Sainsbury's in the end, and now Nathan can wear it too - as he's also a Shepherd. Genius.).  Not about baking (although granted - that is very important...)  Not about finding presents for the men in your life that are really awkward to buy for.  Once we've hurdled, run, jumped and thrown ourselves through the end of term Christmas gauntlet, Jesus will still be there; the Prince of Peace, the Good Shepherd, the Light of the World.

Wisdom and Tractors

Nathan's been at home with me for the last couple of days, due to him having the same virus as me (we like to share!)...  As you know from my last post, being ill and coughing all night doesn't fill me with joy, and I hate seeing the children poorly too; however - there are silver linings if you look for them...

I spent this morning in pyjamas, (Thank you Sarah for doing the school run for me xx) playing snap, having cuddles and warm drinks, and generally chilling out with my littlest boy.  Life with Nathan isn't always fun and games, but his concerns are generally less complicated than a grown up.  We spent a fair bit of time sat on stools in the kitchen, pretending we were riding on a tractor.  The biggest concern in Nathan's head wasn't: "This cough is really annoying and tiring, and I wish I felt better" - valid though that would have been.  His head was occupied with much more interesting things, like how to make the best tractor engine noise, and which location we should visit on our tractor next...  Obviously it's perfectly plausible to ride on your pretend tractor to Thomas Land, and then continue on to go Ten Pin Bowling...  in Africa.  And then drive back to your farm again.

Sometimes I think I could learn a lot from Nathan and his approach to life, (although maybe not his geography!)  The way he's feeling doesn't interrupt the more important things in life, like playing; or when it is bad enough to properly get in the way, he just comes to me - knowing that I'll do my best to sort it out for him, he trusts his mummy, and doesn't waste his time and energy worrying about things he can't sort out anyway. 

After lunch today, he just crawled up onto my lap.  When I asked if he was tired, he said he was - so I took him up to bed for a nap.  As we walked up the stairs, he said "then I can play later"; something I always used to say to him to convince him to have a nap, 'so he had the energy to play later'.  Hmmm...  Resting; so you have the energy to do something later.  Sounds like another useful tip to me.

In the Bible there are two women called Mary and Martha.  They are sisters who are hosting Jesus and his friends, and there's obviously lots to do (sound familiar?)  Martha is cross - as Mary is spending all her time listening to Jesus, and not helping her with the work.  I feel for Martha, I understand the pull of trying to get everything done, and the frustration of not getting the help she thought she should have; but she missed out.  She missed the opportunity to sit and listen, to be with Jesus, to rest - so she had the energy to play later.  After all, Jesus did say: "Come to me, all who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest." (Matthew 11:28) 

Maybe I need to be a bit more Mary (or Nathan), and a bit less Martha.  I think I started today by playing tractors, and ignoring the washing.

Just keep swimming...

September is my husband Paul's busiest time at work.  He works at a university - and so the start of the academic year is insanely busy for multiple reasons.  It takes a lot of his time, and even more of his mental and emotional energy, so we're not seeing very much of him at the moment - and the bits we are seeing are the tired and slightly grumpy bits!

The same thing happens every year - so it's not like it's taken me by surprise.  However, every September, I gain a renewed admiration for anyone parenting alone for any reason.  How anyone manages to be a single parent, and still be able to formulate coherent sentences is beyond me - I take my hat off to you.

I'm trying to pace myself with all the jobs that need doing.  Gaining wisdom from the fountain of life that is 'Finding Nemo'.  When life is tough - I think we sometimes need reminding that all we have to do is just keep going.  Just keep swimming...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CmyUkm2qlhA

It gives me hope that Jesus understood this feeling of general exhaustion.  In Matthew 11:28 it says:
"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest."  That's a promise I need to remember today.

We don't have to battle on alone.  God never promised that life would be easy, but He did promise to be with us every step of the way.