Broadening your Education

On the way to school each morning we tend to listen to Radio 2.  One of the reasons for this is that it coincides with when Chris Evans plays his 'Super 70s Smasher'; a tune (unsurprisingly) from the 1970s.  This morning it was the Rolling Stones.  A crucial part of this feature - at least as far as my kids are concerned - is the competitive element: you have to try and name the year when the song was released.  Every day we guess - after all, these songs came out before I was born, let alone the boys - and we've been keeping a tally for weeks now of how many each of us have got right.  Joel is thrilled that he has been right more times than I have...  It's always a trauma if Chris forgets to tell us the year though; I have to go home and ask Mr Google...

It got me thinking again about how important it is to teach your children things they may well never learn about in school.  I've mentioned before how Jimi Hendrix has saved our school run.  I'm disproportionately proud when Joel can name the band he's listening to...  I mean - I know it's not going to save any lives or anything - but it pleases me that he can recognise Stevie Wonder or the Jackson Five.

I'm thinking about making the boys an album of seminal tracks.  Music that all kids everywhere should grow up with as part of their DNA.  But where to begin...  I know I could make an epically long play list - but I don't want to do that.  If you were making a CD, and had maybe 15 tracks as your limit - what would you put on it?  What song is so important that you would put it on there?

Thinking back to my own childhood music recipe; I mostly remember Eric Clapton, Abba, Simon & Garfunkel, The Beatles and Carole King. My Dad used to pilfer guitar riffs from all over the place though when he led worship at our church. It was only relatively recently that I discovered the opening chord sequence he used for a song called 'Rejoice, Rejoice' was actually from 'Substitute'by The Who...   I suppose it was one way of broadening our musical education!

So what would be on your list?  The Beatles?  The Rolling Stones?  U2?  Mozart??? 

I may be some time...

School runs, 'the wall' and Jimi Hendrix

This Sunday one of my friends from church ran the Berlin Marathon.  I know, crazy chap.  Aaron ran the Marathon, because he wanted to - but also to raise money to support Christians Against Poverty; a marvellous charity helping people out of poverty - but also helping people avoid getting into debt in the first place.  There's still time to sponsor him if you like; just go to his Just Giving page.

I haven't seen Aaron yet since Sunday, so I don't know how it all went.  I was thinking about him this morning, and wondering if he had hit 'the wall'.  The metaphorical wall (after all, I'm hoping he managed not to run into any real ones...) when your legs turn to jelly, and you just feel like you can't go on...

I wondered this, because this morning - Nathan hit 'the wall'...

I kind of expected that this would happen at some point.  The novelty of going to school has worn off now; but it hasn't quite yet been replaced by the stamina required to make it through without tears.  He was properly tired this morning, and sad. 

"Can I stay at home with you, Mummy?"  "The day is too long..."  "Will you come in with me?" *generalised sobs*

He even tried to bargain with me, and ask if I would pick him up at lunch time.  If he can negotiate like that whilst crying and only four - hopefully he'll have the Middle East peace process all sorted by the time he is ten.

I gently cajoled him through the process of getting ready for school.  Breakfasted, dressed, clean(ish) and ready, he sat in the car - still crying - until the radio came on.  Thank heaven for Jimi Hendrix...

After a couple of bars of the opening guitar riff, the tears were forgotten.  Well - at least till we got to school.  Bless him; nothing soothes the pain of school like a bit of awesome guitar. 

He went into school, a bit sad again - but not as sad as he could have been.  I've promised him fish fingers for tea, in honour of his perseverance.  I think I might be cooking favourite teas all week actually.

So - what do you do when you hit the wall?  Just keep running.  That and listening to some Hendrix anyway.

I was made for this

What do Bruce Springsteen, Steppenwolf and Vin Diesel's character xXx have in common?

*Obscure connection alert*

They all know what they were born to do. 

They were born to run, be wild, and 'for this ****' (ie jumping off tall buildings whilst shooting at random bad guys etc...) respectively.

I know it's sometimes difficult to know what you were made to do.  Sometimes it's difficult to know what to do from one day (or hour) to the next.  I know that life with small children can make it very difficult to see beyond the end of your own nose, and that actually - just keeping everybody fed and clean, and not so sleep deprived that they are constantly crying (this applies to both big and small people) is enough to be managing, without thinking about anything more long term.

I know young people (I know this makes me sound like an old bag, but bear with me...) find this whole thing particularly stressful.  From early on at secondary school they are expected to be making choices with an eye on their future career path.  Just studying History because you like History isn't seen as good motivation... You have to know where you are going with everything.  It's easy to feel completely at sea.  Like you're drifting aimlessly with no real purpose.

It's at times like this when I cling onto the promises I find in the Bible.  Things like:

"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you."  Jeremiah 29:11-12

I find it amazing that God has even given me a single thought.  After all, He does have quite a lot to be getting on with.  But there it is in black and white; He doesn't just think about me - He has plans and purposes for me and my little life.  Amazing.

In his time on earth, Jesus was passionate in his desire to help people become all they were created to be.  He claimed:

"I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full." John 10:10

It's reasonable to state that this is still what Jesus longs to do for every person.  I'm sure that it is. However, sometimes I wonder if I would recognise 'life to the full' if it jumped up and bit me...  I can be so preoccupied with other things.  So easily distracted.

And yet, sometimes I catch a glimpse - a tantalizing taste - of what life can be like. 

I had one of those moments on Sunday evening at church when I was leading the worship.  All the elements of the service had come together as if we'd spent hours planning it (which we hadn't!), and we were singing a song that I just knew was going to be right for that moment.  The band and the congregation were altogether as one unit, singing about the amazing God who we have come to know and love, because He first loved us - and gave everything for us. 

And I just felt like God whispered in my ear...  "I made you for this".  In that instant, I knew there was nowhere in the world I'd rather be, and nothing I'd rather be doing.  I was 100% me, living life to the full, and loving every second.

I felt humbled and yet so joyful that - for that moment in time at least - I was doing exactly what I was created for. 

I guess that's maybe how it works.  We don't always see the big picture, or where it is we're heading.  All we can do is try to offer up each moment to the God who has the plans, and do our best to walk where He's leading.

Has anyone seen my show-off gene? (or La la laaaa 2)

I've had another couple of singing lessons now.  (I know - it's taken us a while to get going - we're very busy people...)  The thing that continues to strike me, is how frustrating it is being a bit shy.

This is so very true in singing. I can sing so much better when I'm relaxed.  I can hit notes I thought were well out of the reach of a die-hard alto like me. 

I understand why this is.  Everything seems to tighten in my throat / pharynx / larynx when I'm nervous...  Why I'm nervous doesn't seem to matter.  The same thing happens whether I'm worried about what the people listening are thinking, or if there's just a tricky / high note or phrase coming up.  I guess I just need to learn to chill out, and practice deliberately relaxing those muscles...  Easier said than done though.

It's times like this that I wish I was more of a show-off, hence the blog title.  There are times in life when it's easier to be a 'look at me!' sort of person.  I used to wish for this when I was teaching antenatal classes; but actually - once I got into it - I actually quite enjoyed it.  For me in this context, confidence came through feeling like I knew what I was talking about.

Singing seems different though somehow.  There are so many uncontrollable variables.  Will my voice crack?  Will I breathe in the right place - or will I run out of air halfway through?  Will I hit that note, or end up flat?  Will people like what they hear?  The list is endless...

Helpfully, the place I sing most in public - is in church.  When other people can hear me, it's generally because I'm leading the worship at the front - and thus I have a microphone.  Singing in this context is immensely liberating, as I know a number of vital things:

1. The people there are there to focus on God - not on me
2. I'm singing primarily for God, the fact that this then helps lead others is secondary
3. Most of the people there know me, and love me - so they're not going to be bothered if I throw in a bum note occasionally. (This is just as well - as the likelihood of a wrong note increases exponentially when I'm playing the guitar as well!)

I'm hoping the fact that I'm not naturally a performer actually glorifies God all the more.  I offer up to Him my shyness, along with everything else; knowing that this is the God who turns water into wine, ashes into beauty and desperation into hope.  All things are possible with God...  I just have to remember that when I'm reaching for the high notes!

A side order of self-confidence

Have you ever wished you could just go to the super market and buy something completely ethereal? I know I have...  When the boys were small, I used to wish (and sometimes still do actually) that I could just go and buy 48 hours sleep.  Or maybe a second pair of hands...

I think we can probably all list a number of impossible purchases that would make our lives better / easier / less stressful.  Personally, at the moment, I would really like a portion of boldness, with a side order of self-confidence. 

I'm doing a few things that go against my naturally reserved state at the moment, but the thing I really want to feel confident about is playing my guitar and singing at the same time.  This is not easy; I'm profoundly impressed by anyone who does it well, as it takes an awful lot of my brain power.  I'm playing and singing more at the church I go to; and so far, I think it's gone really well actually.  I would just love to be able to do it without feeling nervous and self conscious - after all - these people know me and love me, so how bad can it it actually be?

One of my favourite verses in the Bible is Joshua 1:9.  It says: 

"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go."(New International Version)

This is pretty clear really.  I don't need to worry, because God is always there with me; whether I'm playing the guitar in public or actually doing something properly scary.  Now I know not everyone believes in God, or that what the Bible says is true.  I do though - and I'm just wondering how amazing life would be if we  could actually manage to live out our lives according to some of these awesome promises.

John Ortberg has written a fabulous book (actually - he's written many - check out http://johnortberg.com/?page_id=2) called 'If you want to walk on water, you've got to get out of the boat'.  It looks at the famous incident in the Bible where Jesus walks on water, and Peter tries to walk to him (see Matthew 14).  The book explores how although this looks like a big failure for Peter, he was actually the only one brave enough to have a go; and how much he learned from this experience.  Then it goes on to look at how we only develop as people if we step out of our comfort zones and try something new.

So although it would be easier to just buy some boldness from a shop - I know I'll learn more from the process of doing the challenging thing.  I think the only true way to gain confidence is by facing up to the scary thing and doing it anyway.  So I guess it's time to just 'woman up' and get on with it...

The rainy day blues...

To the tune of any blues classic you've ever heard....


Woke up this morning (ba ba ba-ba-ba!)
Hoping for some sun
Looked out the window
But the rain had just begun

    I've got the blues
    Oh the rainy day blues

Gave my kids their breakfast
Waited for them to say
Their usual queston:
'Mum - can we go out to play?'

    They got the blues
    Oh the rainy day blues
    Ain't no need for shoes
    They got the rainy day blues

Everything is dripping
No washing on the line
The clock is ticking slowly
A tiny second at a time

    We got the blues
    We got the rainy day blues
    Trying not to blow a fuse
    We got the rainy day blues
   
    We got the blues
    Oh the rainy day blues
    And you know it's just no use
    Still got the rainy day blues



Thank goodness for CBeebies xxx