Just the way you are

This week I took the boys to the opticians for a routine check up.  I wasn't expecting there to be any major problems - I was certain that they wouldn't be needing glasses.  I was slightly suspicious that Joel might be colour blind (or colour restricted...  I know, very PC) as he's always had trouble discerning some colours, especially the paler ones. 

The test was done very sensitively by the optician, who gave him the first 'Ishihara plate' to look at, (Have you seen these before? They are pictures with coloured dots on, with different colours making pathways, or sometimes numbers on them)  which was done purely on contrast - so at least he understood what he was trying to do.  However, when he got onto the actual test, he couldn't see any differences at all in the colours there, he looked quite blank really.  It was so odd to see him flounder like that, and heart-wrenching too - especially when he later had to sit through his brother completing the same tasks with minimal effort.

Joel is a very able child, and I think this will have been a new experience for him.  He so rarely struggles to complete the tasks put before him.  The optician was great at explaining to him (and to me) that it wasn't anything he was doing wrong - it was just that his eyes weren't set up to see as many different colours as some other people's.  It also shed light on the fact that Joel has always claimed his favourite colour to be brown - which I always thought was an unusual choice for a small child (although I guess chocolate is brown...)  It turns out that Joel sees the world in various shades of brown - so I guess it's good that he likes it...

I'm still thinking through the implications of this.  It feels weird to me that Joel might have some restrictions on his career choice, when he's always been able to do anything he put his mind towards.  I know that we will just have to deal with any issues as they arise.

I was so proud of Joel.  We left the opticians with him saying: 'So if I can't tell if something's yellow or pale green, I can ask Nathan and he can tell me'.  I love the fact that he was already solving the potential problem, and also that he was starting to handle the fact that his little brother could do something that he couldn't manage.  I suppose the earlier we understand that some people find some things easier or harder than us, and that's OK, the better life is for everyone.  I think Joel understands this more than the average five year old anyway.

It also gave me the chance to tell Joel that I love him, just the way he is.  That I believe God made his eyes (and all of him) just the way He wants them to be.  I've since found out that colour blind people often have very good night vision, as they're so used to seeing things only with contrast...  Maybe he'll be some kind of superhero...